Practical solutions to sexual problems of young couples Series SEX AFTER DELIVERY

                 

In continuation on the series I have been running on practical solutions to sexual problems of young couples, I will discuss the next in the series which series six – SEX AFTER DELIVERY.

At this junction, God has answered the prayer that was said on the wedding day which was for fruitfulness for the union. Now the first fruit has come. This is coming with its own challenges that need knowledge, understanding and wisdom to handle them.

After the delivery of the baby, medical knowledge tells us not to have coitus (sex) till after six weeks. These weeks will help the woman physiologically to have her various organs receive strength for restoration. They are simply the weeks of healing and restoration.

Some men find it difficult to wait for six weeks. So they find solution to this challenge outside their home and outside their wife. It is a SIN. Such men are joining themselves with strange women, so they should not be surprised if they experience strange curses. Be warned! Proverbs 7:24-27.

In order to avoid this, spouses can continue to enjoy their sexual intercourse within these six weeks except for coitus in the first two to three weeks. Remember, sexual intercourse is not all about coitus. It is enjoying totality of the sexuality of your spouse.

You need to be conscious of the wellbeing of the woman. As a man, be sure you are not hurting her physically, psychologically and otherwise.  On the other hand, many women use the arrival of the baby to cover up their lack of cooperation. Some of them are actually interested in sexual intercourse for the purpose of child bearing. Now that the baby has come, a prove of fruitfulness, such women no longer allows the husband to have access to them. This is totally WRONG!  As a couple, the baby is a blessing from God, therefore we should allow the devil to use to scatter or mar the union. Be sincere to each other because insincerity can bring disunity in the home. Also do not build your home on ignorance, seek knowledge and live in the truth.

Many women shift attention and affections from their husband to the new born baby. This is deception on the highest order. It will interest to know that the baby will grow and leave you. You will be left alone with your abandoned husband. If you miss the time you need to learnt together with your spouse and grow together as couple you will later regret it. It is my advice that you should never share your spouse’s love and attention with your children for any reason. The children have their place, place them there!

Adeyeye Michael A

Love turns the world around

WISDOM DIARY ON A FRIEND

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PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES.SERIES 5

SEX IN PREGNANCY

Marriage is a life long journey which goes with this statement “until death do us part”. Since it is a life long journey, it has phases. Each of these phases has its own challenges. These challenges, if not properly handled could pull a home down.

One of such blessings in disguise in the lives of young couples is pregnancy.                     Do not allow the devil to have a hold over your home because this issue can break a home. Many new couples know or expect pregnancy after wedding but are many of them not prepared for the challenges that come with it.

The number one challenge that comes in as a result of your sex during honey moon is what many new couples call malaria but I call it “malusband”. The woman has been fully fed by her husband so much that through God’s grace and favour she now feels the impact of the retained “dose” Gen 4:1. Your wife too has conceived and you both need wisdom to handle this phase. My advice to young couple that when you notice any weakness or high temperature in your wife do not rush to take any anti malaria treatment (signs of pregnancy). Please see your doctor or a more matured woman / man.

You need to know now that your wife is pregnant and with child. Everything about her has changed. These changes are not what anybody can fully explain. It differs from one person to another, so seek knowledge and apply wisdom.

Sex should not stop because of pregnancy but it needs different techniques at every stage of the pregnancy. It also needs the knowledge of the woman’s state of health. Some men are selfish, they lack self control. They have taken some foolish steps when their wives are pregnant and now live in regret because they have destroyed their homes and kept their wives under depression.

Likewise, some women have through their first pregnancy pushed their husband out. You need not go out and mess your life and your home. Be wise, seek counsel, seek knowledge and live a life of wisdom.

Some people believe that sexual intercourse during pregnancy will affect the baby in the womb. This is not true. Immediately conception takes place, the baby is secured. At this stage, sexual intercourse becomes sweeter because the woman can easily reach her orgasm due to a lot of secretion which lubricate her. So the pain, if any is reduced and the two can keep on enjoying each other till delivery. Sex is not a time for oppressing each other. It is an expression of love. So remember love is not selfish and it is not self seeking.

Now, during intercourse, the two should know that the woman will get tired very quickly. The man should help her and handle her with wisdom.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES.

SERIES 4

SEX DURING MENSTRUATION

Some women start their monthly menstrual period few days before or even on their wedding day. This could be understood. They are under pressure and depression because of the wedding preparation. Anxiety is known to induce menstruation so; it is not surprising that some women tied the nuptial knot with blood on. Does it mean that menstruation constitutes itself as a road block to sexual intercourse on the first night?

Our culture has a lot of taboo associated with blood and women in blood. It is believed that no man should go near his wife during her period. Reason been that she is unclean and any man that touches her cannot enter the place of worship without spiritual cleansing. Some believed that such union could lead to having imbecile child. It is also believed that such men will lose their spiritual powers that may make their enemies prevail over them. God has redeemed us for all kinds of purification problems through Christ Jesus. Therefore, menstruation is not a road block for sexual intercourse; the blood even serves as lubricant to make easy access in. Some women also testified to enjoying sex at such times. This is because intercourse can cause easy flow of the blood which in turn brings relief to their entire body system.

Women that found themselves in this situation are encouraged to give in to their husbands demand at such a point in time. Menstruation should not be a barrier to achieving the long awaited hope and expectation. It is not a road block but pathway to ease and comfort for a pleasant sexual satisfaction in your first night.

However, the following need be looked into with respect blood stain;-

1.    The woman menstrual pain. During this period, women undergo pains and it differs from one woman to another. Some women have serious menstrual pain. You need to know if she can cope. Some, at such times, have serious stomach pain while some are completely down physically and psychologically. The psychological aspect is what you can help her overcome. But please, be careful to understand the physical aspect of the pain; do not injure your wife on your first night.

2.    The man psychological and emotional feelings. How is the man able to cope in the presence of fresh blood? Is the man irritated? Can he withstand it? The ability of each man to cope differs. It means therefore that the extent to which you enjoy the sexual intercourse depends on the level of the ability of the man to cope in such a situation.

3.    The blood stain. The two must be prepared for the blood stain all around their private parts and on the bed. This means that they should get a bedspread which does not retain stain or get a small cloth which they can put just at the bed area of the intercourse. The two should immediately clean up after sex.

Sexual intercourse during menstruation has more of emotional effect than physical, medical and spiritual effects. If the two can overcome whatever psychological / emotional feelings, they will definitely enjoy it.

Enjoy yourselves.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES. SERIES 3

SERIES 3

WISDOM FOR VIRGINS

Virginity is what the bible teaches for the unmarried. You are now matured and ready to disvirgined. You are in the right place with the right person.

Many good mothers create in their daughters’ fear of sexual intercourse. They do this with good intention. This was done to keep such daughter from pre – marital sex. Little did the parents know that their prescribed dose has its negative effect on these girls as they go into marriage. Such girls need an antidote from this implanted fear as they are preparing for their wedding.

The first step towards victory and enjoying your home and your sexual intercourse with your spouse is to cast away fear of pain and displeasure you have ignorantly psychologically associated with sex. Sex is a gift of God in marriage. It is time to enjoy this. Do not allow fear to spoil your day. The lord is honouring you, so why do you have to fear? Perfect love casts out fear. Now that you are in marriage bed, replace fear with perfect love for your spouse.

As you prepare for your marriage get some good books which you can read and be willing to ask questions from matured people around you. Be sure to implement your gathered information when you are married.

For virgin, sex can be painful at the beginning, therefore it is advisable that before sexual intercourse for the two of you to lubricate your organs and their surroundings. This means that as you pack your bibles and other devotional materials for your honey moon, you should get good lubricants preferably Vaseline or olive oil along with you. This lubrication should be a continuous process until the two are sure the pain is gone or manageable.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES SERIES 2.

SERIES 2

WISDOM FOR HONEY MOONERS

Are you enjoying your honey moon? This was the question asked by a father in law when he visited the newly wedded couple after a week in the apartment provided for them. The response was quick and straight forwards from the wife “we are not enjoying it”. The husband looked at his wife in the eye. She in turn looked at his father in law and repeated her words “we are not enjoying it”

The father in law understood it immediately and took her plea seriously. The son replied to the allegation is that “they are in prayers” the father was mad and encouraged the son to stop praying as for the time for prayers has gone. Your prayers had been answered. You need to work now. “Sex is a part of marriage, start it now. It is part of your spiritual duties.sex in marriage is a sin, it is completely righteous”, the old man instructed his son and left. The young man went back inside as an obedient son and took charge of the bed. The honey in the moon came alive and was real to the two of them in couple of hours.

The best expression of love is giving. John 3:16. This is the time to give the totality of your body, soul and spirit to your spouse. You can examine and play with your organs.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES.

INTRODUCTION

When it comes to building a Christian home, many people found it difficult to discuss about SEX. Some even see it as a taboo in this part of the world. And because sex is not well handled, many homes have been destroyed too early in their marriages.

It is obvious that many parents and ministers of God fail to give the necessary balanced counsel on the issue of sexuality to young folks, out of the fear of “encouraging them to go into immorality. They only told them is about sinful intimacy and its grave consequences, avoiding fornicating, adultery e.t.c. When the time comes for the young folks to start enjoying sex in their homes, they do not have the practical knowledge and discretion needed to handle this new phase of life.

Therefore, this topic will run in series to help young couples solve some initial sexual problems they might face as young couples and it will make a good read for older couples who want a new beginning in their relationships. Please go through each series for better understanding.

SERIES 1

THE FIRST NIGHT

(Proverb 5:18)

It is always believed that first impression matters much. The way you handle your first night matters so much. You have a blessed fountain, a fountain sanctified and given to you by the lord, God, your father. This fountain is given to your for enjoyment as you rejoice with your new “honey”. This first night is a blessed night of light, deliverance and joy that lasts till eternity.

Like in the beginning of any great endeavour, you need a great deal of wisdom. This is the first night of building your own home. Obedience is the only key that keeps your home on the rock for life and eternity. This night is a night of unveiling your nakedness and that of your spouse. You have been beholding the beauty/ handsomeness of each other undercover before now. Tonight, you want to behold each other as God created you naked.

The first night, you both will go to the beginning where nakedness brought joy and satisfaction to the men and his wife. This journey this night required patience and understanding which are rooted in deep love. It follows suit the following steps;-

Step 1:- husband, patiently unveil your wife of everything called cover. Remove “everything she is wearing. Some sisters at this point are embarrassed so , be patient with your wife. Some men rush into this, in order to enter into the sexual act, it is not good, do not rush, she is yours forever. Take time to examine every part you uncover and appreciate the lord for each.

Step2:- now verbalized your thought. You can say something like” i accept you as you are, you are a part of me and i will always love you. You are a gift to me, babe girl you are good”. What can you say about your wife in relation to you? Say them now with wisdom.

Step3:- the wife then in turn uncovers her husband. I mean remove everything called cover or traditional material for beauty or makeup if you are a virgin, you probably have not seen many various sizes of penis before, so , accept in love whatever you see and appreciate the lord for it.

Step4:- the wife should hold her husband and verbalizes her thoughts. You can say something like “oh! I accept you as mine. I’m a part of you, you are mine for life and i accept you as a gift from the lord”

Step5:- hold yourselves in love

Step6:- you can immediately seal up your union with sex. Your oneness starts from your acceptance, open heartedness and sexual intercourse, rejoice with the wife of your youth ....... let her breasts satisfy you at all times.

Moreover, by now the man must have successfully inserted his penis into your virginal. This means you “know” your spouse.

The man should take time to allow his penis to make some movement. This contact will produced sweet sensation for the two.

It is worthy to note here that both or either party can be tired after the stressful wedding ceremony, it is suggested that rest is important and the couple should have their rest”. The act should last for life because marriage is “till death do us part”.

Are You Afraid of Relationships?

Are You Afraid of Relationships?

I bet you can think of at least one man who has intention to stay single and even shunned what could have been a great relationship with amazing woman just because he didn’t want a “serious relationship.”

But then, just a few weeks or months later, that man met another woman. And within just a few weeks with this new woman he was completely sprung and head over heels for her… and he was begging HER for a committed relationship.

Fascinating…

If you’re like most women, then you’ve seen several men you know do this “instant switch” thing where all of a sudden they want a serious relationship, even though all they could talk about before was being “on their own.”

Here’s the reality: Most men are never “ready” for a relationship… not until they feel the magical feelings and experiences with a woman that tell them “Hey, this is the woman for me.”

“For a man, the connection he feels with a woman early on can have nothing to do with whether or not he wants a relationship with her.”

Are You Afraid of Relationships?

I bet you can think of at least one man who has intention to stay single and even shunned what could have been a great relationship with amazing woman just because he didn’t want a “serious relationship.”

But then, just a few weeks or months later, that man met another woman. And within just a few weeks with this new woman he was completely sprung and head over heels for her… and he was begging HER for a committed relationship.

Fascinating…

If you’re like most women, then you’ve seen several men you know do this “instant switch” thing where all of a sudden they want a serious relationship, even though all they could talk about before was being “on their own.”

Here’s the reality: Most men are never “ready” for a relationship… not until they feel the magical feelings and experiences with a woman that tell them “Hey, this is the woman for me.”

“For a man, the connection he feels with a woman early on can have nothing to do with whether or not he wants a relationship with her.”

Tips for stronger relationship

Tips for stronger relationship

Relationships are important in life. Whether they are with family members or with friends and spouses, relationships need your time, effort, care and energy to go a long way. Some relations, which are made in the teen years, carry on for life, while others made some time later may fade away. Here are some tips, which can make your relationships grow stronger and healthier:

Communication: an important aspect of any healthy relationship is the communication between the two people. You need to talk and listen to each other to know the common interests that you have amongst you.

Sharing: a healthy relationship develops when you share ideas and feelings. The feeling of sharing develops when you communicate. You trust the other person to listen to you and be there for you when you need him/her. A healthy relationship blossoms when you support the other person and share your thoughts and interests.

Respect: respect is another important factor, which helps build a healthy relationship. Whether it is between husband and wife, parents and children or dating partners, mature relations can develop only when you respect the other partner and give him his space. You have to respect the boundaries set for each other and let the relations grow. There may be disagreements but you should make them a reason to make your relations grow stronger.

Trust: probably the most important aspect of any relationship is trust. You need to trust your partner in all circumstances. You have to instill the feeling of trust in your partner and show him/her importance in your life.

Spend time together: life has become so hectic that there is no spare time for your loved ones. You have to squeeze in some time to spend some time together. This makes the bonding stronger and you feel good. If both partners are working, they should meet at weekends to know what the other person is doing. This applies to parents as well, who should, occasionally check with their children and spend time together to let them know that you are there for them.

Laugh together: humor is the best stress buster. Therefore, you should try to spend time and laugh together. Share jokes, messages and secrets to add spice to your relationship. The ultimate thing in a relationship is time spending and communicating.

These tips show how relationships can be made stronger. As mentioned, disagreements are a part of any relationship but handling it maturely and walking out of it without arguing is the best way. In fact, arguments at time make relations stronger as you come to know each other. You need to pay attention to your partner's demands and rejections and this helps in making a relationship grow.

Adeyeye Michael kayode

For more on relationship tips, visit www.online-datinggist.blogspot.com

UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND INFATUATION

UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND INFATUATION

Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. It is a decision, a judgement and a promise while infatuation is wild, foolish, blind love, unreasonable love, erratic, and passion centred or based on only feeling, emotional strong desire for a person.

Infatuation is being mistaken for love most times; therefore i have carefully study the differences between them and these are the differences stated below;-

1.    Love is selfless, infatuation is selfish and greedy

2.    Love controls physical contact, infatuation exploits it

3.    Love develops slowly, infatuation develops rapidly

4.    Love encourages and contributes towards someone’s progress but infatuation  does not due to lies

5.    Love does not keep record of wrongs committed by other party but infatuation capitalizes on wrongs committed by others

6.    Love relies more on compatibility, infatuation relies more on chemistry and physical appearance

7.    Love is associated with understanding, attention and commitment, infatuation is associated with sexual attraction and exploitation

8.    Love recognizes realities, infatuation ignores them

9.    Love focuses on one person, infatuation focuses on several persons

10. Love is patient, kind and long suffering infatuation is arrogant, impatient and rude

11. Love survives the test of time, infatuation can’t wait

12. Love seeks the best in others but infatuation seeks the wrong things in others

13. Love is built on commitment but infatuation is build on feeling

14. Love gives room for growth and change, infatuation does not but rather expects perfection

15. Love protects, preserve, increase and multiply people but infatuation exposes you to sin, depression, rejection and destruction

16. True love does not intimidate or manipulate people into doing the wrong things but infatuation does

17. True love celebrates your achievement and rejoices in your success but infatuation gets intimidated and frustrated at your success.1^st Corin13:1-13.

The primary effects of infatuation are sexual abuse, premarital sex, adultery and rape which are sinful before God. Sin is working contrary to your creator – God.

It is outright rebellion against God’s law. Please ZIP UP and keep off infatuation.

For you to have a lovely relationship that can cumulate into marriage, build your relationship on true love.

                                                                                                                                   

The Art of Seduction

The Art of Seduction

The immediate temptation of anyone who hears the word seduction is to quickly associate it with love – making; the art of seduction is by no means the only purpose to which seduction can be put.

Whether we are conscious of it or not, there is something in our nature as human beings that make us, naturally, seducers. Many people will hold the assertion in dispute; but a moment of careful thought is likely to make us see seduction in the right perspective. By my standard, the business person who dons his best attire on the occasion of a business appointment likely to turn his or her fortunes around for good is practicing seduction. The politician who uses banners, posters, audio – visual interviews, and rhythmical campaign slogans; the advertiser who uses hilarious radio jingles to advertise his products; the movie house that whets our appetite with bits and pieces of gripping scenes in its movies; the car manufacturer who designs his car to look sleek, solid and heavenly; the product manufacturer who wraps his products in colourful packages; and many more other people are all busily practicing The Art of Seduction.

By using methods that had been successfully employed by charmers like Don Juan, Giovanni Casanova, Marylyn Monroe, napoleon Bonaparte, Cleopatra, Bathsheba, Bill Clinton, Benjamin Disraeli, Rasputin, Madonna, and our Goodluck Jonathan the author shows us how we can wield influence that continues to keep us in demand for as long as we live.

Our Almighty Father, also use the seduction method through our lord Jesus Christ who bought us from the camp of the evil one by shedding HIS blood on the cross of Calvary. He gave us life in abundance and we now have access to God through our lord Jesus Christ. Through him, man now has access to God.

Should we use this art, this secret, for man or material? This question is best answered by the man or woman who decides to learn and use The Art of Seduction. I will suggest we apply this principle to our everyday life and in whatever capacity we find ourselves to touch a life effectively and positively for God.

As for me, I find this book interesting and a lifetime treasure that must not be out of sight. I have started to apply it to my life. Look for the book, read and start to apply it to your life.

Adeyeye Kayode

Book reviewer

For more on relationship issues, visit www.online-datinggist.blogspot.com

HOW TO ABSTAIN FROM PRE MARITAL SEX

HOW TO ABSTAIN FROM PRE MARITAL SEX

What is premarital sex?

This can be defined as sex before marriage. It is about a thrill, a momentary pleasure without a loving relationship. It is not a solution to feeling unloved, unwanted, abandoned, rejected, depressed and loneliness. It only complicates issues of life.

Religious view about premarital sex

Marriage is honourable and the bed undefiled for God will judge both whoremongers (fornicator) and adulterer. Hebrew 13:4, 1^st Corinthians 6:18-20.

Effects of premarital sex

1. Death via abortion. When you engage in unwanted sex and it result into pregnancy. The last option to those persons is abortion and it brings about death.
2. Disgrace. Unwanted pregnancy brings disgrace to the girl involved in premarital sex.
3. Sex addict. Once you taste sex it will turns you to a sex holic in the society.
4. Stain and loneliness. Once you get yourself involved in premarital sex, people get to know you and they all will stay away from you. Loneliness will naturally kill you.
5. Rejection. No man will want to marry you because you are sex holic even the society will reject you.
6. God will be angry with you and you will not be his child any more.

How to abstain from premarital sex

1. Experience new birth or salvation in Jesus Christ. When you have an encounter with Christ, he will recreate and transform your life to live above sin.
2. Avoid seducing a man through your dressing therefore always dress modestly and decently.
3. Avoid having an encounter with pornographic films, romantic books or novels and magazine this is because what you see affects how you behave and you behave affects what you become
4. Do not succumb to peer group pressure
5. Avoid body fondling, kissing, pecking and necking when dating
6. Always flee from all appearances of evil
7. Do not engage in dating until you are physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, mentally matured and ready
8. Always exercise self control over your emotions
9. Avoid wrong association or bad company for “ evil communication corrupts good manner”
10.  Avoid staying alone with your intended spouse late to the night
11.  Avoid sleeping with your intended spouse in the same room before marriage
12.  Always subject your flesh under the spirit of God by dwelling on the word of god everyday
13. Ensure that true love is the foundation for your relationship and love guides, protects, cares and hates sin

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Sex Is Important in Intimate Relationships

Sex Is Important in Intimate Relationships

 

When people write about sexual health issues many are offended, or put it in the same boat like movie porn. I am always surprised by the reactions of some sexual nature, because as I see it, is important in relationships and sex is a big part of life in general. Most of us have sex in our relationship because it is a natural and proper relationship, and if one gender or the sex education debate is offended, so I'm ready to bet that you might have a problem in their sex life.

Why sex is important in relationships? Well, for one, make us a break from everyday life and the stress that comes with it. In the sexual act our thoughts are often focused on enjoyment and intimacy and pulled into a world of naked bodies and pleasures. Obviously this is a big difference in our lives, not sexual, and is good for stress reduction and reminds us that there is more life than the hustle and bustle of our daily tasks.

Sex allows your partner, and feels closer. Let yourself be vulnerable, physically and mentally to someone in a way that with someone else. This can only strengthen the trust between the two, because it requires trust to be vulnerable.

Sex is a special event that only the two share and to create a particular aspect of their relationship is not with someone else. It makes you feel accepted by their partner and participate with your partner.

While sex is not the most important part of the relationship when a healthy sex life is now a large part of the relationship if the sexual aspect of what went wrong.

Have you been suffering a dry spell in your sex life only find on the rest of your relationship, too? You begin to wonder why you do not have sex and what is wrong with you or your partner or your relationship.

If sex is not in a relationship that can lead to a healthy woman feel unattractive and undesirable to your partner. You can leave her feeling that if your partner is connected to him or even think about them and their needs.

A person can feel as if they satisfy your partner and bring her the pleasure she needs sex. It may make you not only insufficient to please them in the bedroom, but outside of the room.

Begin with feelings, as it is natural that, seep into other aspects of their relationship. They can be recovered by your partner and feel than before. You can begin to feel as if they do not meet their partners in other areas of your relationship. Negative emotions have a way to take and keep snowballs into something bigger and more negative.

So if his ears and can wag their fingers about the sexual discussion closes to think about their own sexual lives. Connect like-minded people can be on sex education in the chamber cause a narrowness of mind to sexual pleasure in the room. And as we discussed, which cause other problems in the relationship.

Sex is an important part of all intimate relationships. Do you have sexual problems later; unless they seek help outside the relationship with your sex life will never change. So do not close read your views about sex, because it's something that you can use that night in the room and make you and your partner closer.