PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES.SERIES 5

SEX IN PREGNANCY

Marriage is a life long journey which goes with this statement “until death do us part”. Since it is a life long journey, it has phases. Each of these phases has its own challenges. These challenges, if not properly handled could pull a home down.

One of such blessings in disguise in the lives of young couples is pregnancy.                     Do not allow the devil to have a hold over your home because this issue can break a home. Many new couples know or expect pregnancy after wedding but are many of them not prepared for the challenges that come with it.

The number one challenge that comes in as a result of your sex during honey moon is what many new couples call malaria but I call it “malusband”. The woman has been fully fed by her husband so much that through God’s grace and favour she now feels the impact of the retained “dose” Gen 4:1. Your wife too has conceived and you both need wisdom to handle this phase. My advice to young couple that when you notice any weakness or high temperature in your wife do not rush to take any anti malaria treatment (signs of pregnancy). Please see your doctor or a more matured woman / man.

You need to know now that your wife is pregnant and with child. Everything about her has changed. These changes are not what anybody can fully explain. It differs from one person to another, so seek knowledge and apply wisdom.

Sex should not stop because of pregnancy but it needs different techniques at every stage of the pregnancy. It also needs the knowledge of the woman’s state of health. Some men are selfish, they lack self control. They have taken some foolish steps when their wives are pregnant and now live in regret because they have destroyed their homes and kept their wives under depression.

Likewise, some women have through their first pregnancy pushed their husband out. You need not go out and mess your life and your home. Be wise, seek counsel, seek knowledge and live a life of wisdom.

Some people believe that sexual intercourse during pregnancy will affect the baby in the womb. This is not true. Immediately conception takes place, the baby is secured. At this stage, sexual intercourse becomes sweeter because the woman can easily reach her orgasm due to a lot of secretion which lubricate her. So the pain, if any is reduced and the two can keep on enjoying each other till delivery. Sex is not a time for oppressing each other. It is an expression of love. So remember love is not selfish and it is not self seeking.

Now, during intercourse, the two should know that the woman will get tired very quickly. The man should help her and handle her with wisdom.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES.

SERIES 4

SEX DURING MENSTRUATION

Some women start their monthly menstrual period few days before or even on their wedding day. This could be understood. They are under pressure and depression because of the wedding preparation. Anxiety is known to induce menstruation so; it is not surprising that some women tied the nuptial knot with blood on. Does it mean that menstruation constitutes itself as a road block to sexual intercourse on the first night?

Our culture has a lot of taboo associated with blood and women in blood. It is believed that no man should go near his wife during her period. Reason been that she is unclean and any man that touches her cannot enter the place of worship without spiritual cleansing. Some believed that such union could lead to having imbecile child. It is also believed that such men will lose their spiritual powers that may make their enemies prevail over them. God has redeemed us for all kinds of purification problems through Christ Jesus. Therefore, menstruation is not a road block for sexual intercourse; the blood even serves as lubricant to make easy access in. Some women also testified to enjoying sex at such times. This is because intercourse can cause easy flow of the blood which in turn brings relief to their entire body system.

Women that found themselves in this situation are encouraged to give in to their husbands demand at such a point in time. Menstruation should not be a barrier to achieving the long awaited hope and expectation. It is not a road block but pathway to ease and comfort for a pleasant sexual satisfaction in your first night.

However, the following need be looked into with respect blood stain;-

1.    The woman menstrual pain. During this period, women undergo pains and it differs from one woman to another. Some women have serious menstrual pain. You need to know if she can cope. Some, at such times, have serious stomach pain while some are completely down physically and psychologically. The psychological aspect is what you can help her overcome. But please, be careful to understand the physical aspect of the pain; do not injure your wife on your first night.

2.    The man psychological and emotional feelings. How is the man able to cope in the presence of fresh blood? Is the man irritated? Can he withstand it? The ability of each man to cope differs. It means therefore that the extent to which you enjoy the sexual intercourse depends on the level of the ability of the man to cope in such a situation.

3.    The blood stain. The two must be prepared for the blood stain all around their private parts and on the bed. This means that they should get a bedspread which does not retain stain or get a small cloth which they can put just at the bed area of the intercourse. The two should immediately clean up after sex.

Sexual intercourse during menstruation has more of emotional effect than physical, medical and spiritual effects. If the two can overcome whatever psychological / emotional feelings, they will definitely enjoy it.

Enjoy yourselves.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES. SERIES 3

SERIES 3

WISDOM FOR VIRGINS

Virginity is what the bible teaches for the unmarried. You are now matured and ready to disvirgined. You are in the right place with the right person.

Many good mothers create in their daughters’ fear of sexual intercourse. They do this with good intention. This was done to keep such daughter from pre – marital sex. Little did the parents know that their prescribed dose has its negative effect on these girls as they go into marriage. Such girls need an antidote from this implanted fear as they are preparing for their wedding.

The first step towards victory and enjoying your home and your sexual intercourse with your spouse is to cast away fear of pain and displeasure you have ignorantly psychologically associated with sex. Sex is a gift of God in marriage. It is time to enjoy this. Do not allow fear to spoil your day. The lord is honouring you, so why do you have to fear? Perfect love casts out fear. Now that you are in marriage bed, replace fear with perfect love for your spouse.

As you prepare for your marriage get some good books which you can read and be willing to ask questions from matured people around you. Be sure to implement your gathered information when you are married.

For virgin, sex can be painful at the beginning, therefore it is advisable that before sexual intercourse for the two of you to lubricate your organs and their surroundings. This means that as you pack your bibles and other devotional materials for your honey moon, you should get good lubricants preferably Vaseline or olive oil along with you. This lubrication should be a continuous process until the two are sure the pain is gone or manageable.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES SERIES 2.

SERIES 2

WISDOM FOR HONEY MOONERS

Are you enjoying your honey moon? This was the question asked by a father in law when he visited the newly wedded couple after a week in the apartment provided for them. The response was quick and straight forwards from the wife “we are not enjoying it”. The husband looked at his wife in the eye. She in turn looked at his father in law and repeated her words “we are not enjoying it”

The father in law understood it immediately and took her plea seriously. The son replied to the allegation is that “they are in prayers” the father was mad and encouraged the son to stop praying as for the time for prayers has gone. Your prayers had been answered. You need to work now. “Sex is a part of marriage, start it now. It is part of your spiritual duties.sex in marriage is a sin, it is completely righteous”, the old man instructed his son and left. The young man went back inside as an obedient son and took charge of the bed. The honey in the moon came alive and was real to the two of them in couple of hours.

The best expression of love is giving. John 3:16. This is the time to give the totality of your body, soul and spirit to your spouse. You can examine and play with your organs.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES.

INTRODUCTION

When it comes to building a Christian home, many people found it difficult to discuss about SEX. Some even see it as a taboo in this part of the world. And because sex is not well handled, many homes have been destroyed too early in their marriages.

It is obvious that many parents and ministers of God fail to give the necessary balanced counsel on the issue of sexuality to young folks, out of the fear of “encouraging them to go into immorality. They only told them is about sinful intimacy and its grave consequences, avoiding fornicating, adultery e.t.c. When the time comes for the young folks to start enjoying sex in their homes, they do not have the practical knowledge and discretion needed to handle this new phase of life.

Therefore, this topic will run in series to help young couples solve some initial sexual problems they might face as young couples and it will make a good read for older couples who want a new beginning in their relationships. Please go through each series for better understanding.

SERIES 1

THE FIRST NIGHT

(Proverb 5:18)

It is always believed that first impression matters much. The way you handle your first night matters so much. You have a blessed fountain, a fountain sanctified and given to you by the lord, God, your father. This fountain is given to your for enjoyment as you rejoice with your new “honey”. This first night is a blessed night of light, deliverance and joy that lasts till eternity.

Like in the beginning of any great endeavour, you need a great deal of wisdom. This is the first night of building your own home. Obedience is the only key that keeps your home on the rock for life and eternity. This night is a night of unveiling your nakedness and that of your spouse. You have been beholding the beauty/ handsomeness of each other undercover before now. Tonight, you want to behold each other as God created you naked.

The first night, you both will go to the beginning where nakedness brought joy and satisfaction to the men and his wife. This journey this night required patience and understanding which are rooted in deep love. It follows suit the following steps;-

Step 1:- husband, patiently unveil your wife of everything called cover. Remove “everything she is wearing. Some sisters at this point are embarrassed so , be patient with your wife. Some men rush into this, in order to enter into the sexual act, it is not good, do not rush, she is yours forever. Take time to examine every part you uncover and appreciate the lord for each.

Step2:- now verbalized your thought. You can say something like” i accept you as you are, you are a part of me and i will always love you. You are a gift to me, babe girl you are good”. What can you say about your wife in relation to you? Say them now with wisdom.

Step3:- the wife then in turn uncovers her husband. I mean remove everything called cover or traditional material for beauty or makeup if you are a virgin, you probably have not seen many various sizes of penis before, so , accept in love whatever you see and appreciate the lord for it.

Step4:- the wife should hold her husband and verbalizes her thoughts. You can say something like “oh! I accept you as mine. I’m a part of you, you are mine for life and i accept you as a gift from the lord”

Step5:- hold yourselves in love

Step6:- you can immediately seal up your union with sex. Your oneness starts from your acceptance, open heartedness and sexual intercourse, rejoice with the wife of your youth ....... let her breasts satisfy you at all times.

Moreover, by now the man must have successfully inserted his penis into your virginal. This means you “know” your spouse.

The man should take time to allow his penis to make some movement. This contact will produced sweet sensation for the two.

It is worthy to note here that both or either party can be tired after the stressful wedding ceremony, it is suggested that rest is important and the couple should have their rest”. The act should last for life because marriage is “till death do us part”.