Christian Courtship

INTRODUCTION
Christian Courtship is a period before marriage where a christian brother and sister agree about many issues and see if they both share the same vision, hope and aspirations about marriage. It involves two people that have agreed to walk together, in the direction of marriage- Amos 3:3.

THE IMPORTANCE OF COURTSHIP
Courtship is very important and necessary for the intending couple to observe, if they want to enjoy their marriage. It is during the courtship that proper biblical foundation must be laid down in order to have a happy married life. It is a period to get to know each other intimately apart from carnal knowledge and illicit romance.
Before you venture into wedding plans, both of you must agree on a lot of things like what you both want for your marriage.Know each other's strength and weaknesses, likes and dislikes and parents. Both of you must realize what marriage means TILL DEATH DO US PART.
 It is a time to plan for the wedding and the marriage. One vital issue that must be addressed during this period is to obtain the consent of both parents - Gen 24:54-59. It is a period to undertake marriage counselling lessons. After proposing to a lady and she has agreed to marry you, the next thing to do is to obey the biblical injunction to prove all things- 1 Thess 5:21. Secretly indulging in bodily, emotional and sexual pleasure at this stage with your marriage partner is a sin- Rom 12:1-2.It is a potential sign of marital failure.
LONG COURTSHIP NOT ADVISABLE
Long courtship, in the interest of two partners is not advisable. In some churches, long courtship of not less than two years is encouraged with the hope that with such time input, the couple will get to know each other properly  This can, however, easily expose the partners to sexual temptation and thus break the divine constitution "touch not; taste not; handle not" Col 2:21.
Besides, human beings can pretend and hide true identities until after the real marriage. To save the intending couple, therefore, a minimum period of six months and maximum of one year is recommended or advisable.
CONCLUSION
Our heavenly father is the best friend anyone can have but also the worst enemy a man can have. Remember, He is the one that ordained the institution of marriage. It  will be dangerous for anyone to attempt to establish a home without Him. Courtship is not a period to play pranks. Watch and be warned.

SHOULD EVERY CHRISTIAN MARRY?

It is not compulsory for all Christians to marry.  Jesus Christ the son of God did his assignment in singleness and since he had the mind of God, what did you say? The doctor well thought-out in all he did.  He was meticulous all circular and did not plop his father to bring into disrepute.  Paul furthermore did not marry.  He was a man of God, an apostle and had the mind of Christ.  The peer of the realm maxim him through his unit therefore can say I let somebody have escalation to fight the decent fight since he was influenced by the spirit of God and he remained paying attention.  Because of his request to supply God, he gave himself entirely to his effect and service, reaping spiritual souls pro the peer of the realm exclusive of looking back.  He was resolute to grasp the goal.

During Genesis 1:27-28 says “So God twisted man in his own image, in the image of God he twisted him; male and female he twisted them.  God blessed them and assumed to them, “Be fruitful and escalation in sum fill the earth and calm down it:-----

Here God instituted wedding as a instruct to be fruitful and escalation in sum fill the earth and calm down it.  Whether you marry or stay single is exactly in God’s jet.  Provided all you solve is too fortunate and honour him as peer of the realm bigger than your life.

Practical solutions to sexual problems of young couples Series SEX AFTER DELIVERY

                 

In continuation on the series I have been running on practical solutions to sexual problems of young couples, I will discuss the next in the series which series six – SEX AFTER DELIVERY.

At this junction, God has answered the prayer that was said on the wedding day which was for fruitfulness for the union. Now the first fruit has come. This is coming with its own challenges that need knowledge, understanding and wisdom to handle them.

After the delivery of the baby, medical knowledge tells us not to have coitus (sex) till after six weeks. These weeks will help the woman physiologically to have her various organs receive strength for restoration. They are simply the weeks of healing and restoration.

Some men find it difficult to wait for six weeks. So they find solution to this challenge outside their home and outside their wife. It is a SIN. Such men are joining themselves with strange women, so they should not be surprised if they experience strange curses. Be warned! Proverbs 7:24-27.

In order to avoid this, spouses can continue to enjoy their sexual intercourse within these six weeks except for coitus in the first two to three weeks. Remember, sexual intercourse is not all about coitus. It is enjoying totality of the sexuality of your spouse.

You need to be conscious of the wellbeing of the woman. As a man, be sure you are not hurting her physically, psychologically and otherwise.  On the other hand, many women use the arrival of the baby to cover up their lack of cooperation. Some of them are actually interested in sexual intercourse for the purpose of child bearing. Now that the baby has come, a prove of fruitfulness, such women no longer allows the husband to have access to them. This is totally WRONG!  As a couple, the baby is a blessing from God, therefore we should allow the devil to use to scatter or mar the union. Be sincere to each other because insincerity can bring disunity in the home. Also do not build your home on ignorance, seek knowledge and live in the truth.

Many women shift attention and affections from their husband to the new born baby. This is deception on the highest order. It will interest to know that the baby will grow and leave you. You will be left alone with your abandoned husband. If you miss the time you need to learnt together with your spouse and grow together as couple you will later regret it. It is my advice that you should never share your spouse’s love and attention with your children for any reason. The children have their place, place them there!

Adeyeye Michael A

Love turns the world around

WISDOM DIARY ON A FRIEND

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PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES.SERIES 5

SEX IN PREGNANCY

Marriage is a life long journey which goes with this statement “until death do us part”. Since it is a life long journey, it has phases. Each of these phases has its own challenges. These challenges, if not properly handled could pull a home down.

One of such blessings in disguise in the lives of young couples is pregnancy.                     Do not allow the devil to have a hold over your home because this issue can break a home. Many new couples know or expect pregnancy after wedding but are many of them not prepared for the challenges that come with it.

The number one challenge that comes in as a result of your sex during honey moon is what many new couples call malaria but I call it “malusband”. The woman has been fully fed by her husband so much that through God’s grace and favour she now feels the impact of the retained “dose” Gen 4:1. Your wife too has conceived and you both need wisdom to handle this phase. My advice to young couple that when you notice any weakness or high temperature in your wife do not rush to take any anti malaria treatment (signs of pregnancy). Please see your doctor or a more matured woman / man.

You need to know now that your wife is pregnant and with child. Everything about her has changed. These changes are not what anybody can fully explain. It differs from one person to another, so seek knowledge and apply wisdom.

Sex should not stop because of pregnancy but it needs different techniques at every stage of the pregnancy. It also needs the knowledge of the woman’s state of health. Some men are selfish, they lack self control. They have taken some foolish steps when their wives are pregnant and now live in regret because they have destroyed their homes and kept their wives under depression.

Likewise, some women have through their first pregnancy pushed their husband out. You need not go out and mess your life and your home. Be wise, seek counsel, seek knowledge and live a life of wisdom.

Some people believe that sexual intercourse during pregnancy will affect the baby in the womb. This is not true. Immediately conception takes place, the baby is secured. At this stage, sexual intercourse becomes sweeter because the woman can easily reach her orgasm due to a lot of secretion which lubricate her. So the pain, if any is reduced and the two can keep on enjoying each other till delivery. Sex is not a time for oppressing each other. It is an expression of love. So remember love is not selfish and it is not self seeking.

Now, during intercourse, the two should know that the woman will get tired very quickly. The man should help her and handle her with wisdom.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES.

SERIES 4

SEX DURING MENSTRUATION

Some women start their monthly menstrual period few days before or even on their wedding day. This could be understood. They are under pressure and depression because of the wedding preparation. Anxiety is known to induce menstruation so; it is not surprising that some women tied the nuptial knot with blood on. Does it mean that menstruation constitutes itself as a road block to sexual intercourse on the first night?

Our culture has a lot of taboo associated with blood and women in blood. It is believed that no man should go near his wife during her period. Reason been that she is unclean and any man that touches her cannot enter the place of worship without spiritual cleansing. Some believed that such union could lead to having imbecile child. It is also believed that such men will lose their spiritual powers that may make their enemies prevail over them. God has redeemed us for all kinds of purification problems through Christ Jesus. Therefore, menstruation is not a road block for sexual intercourse; the blood even serves as lubricant to make easy access in. Some women also testified to enjoying sex at such times. This is because intercourse can cause easy flow of the blood which in turn brings relief to their entire body system.

Women that found themselves in this situation are encouraged to give in to their husbands demand at such a point in time. Menstruation should not be a barrier to achieving the long awaited hope and expectation. It is not a road block but pathway to ease and comfort for a pleasant sexual satisfaction in your first night.

However, the following need be looked into with respect blood stain;-

1.    The woman menstrual pain. During this period, women undergo pains and it differs from one woman to another. Some women have serious menstrual pain. You need to know if she can cope. Some, at such times, have serious stomach pain while some are completely down physically and psychologically. The psychological aspect is what you can help her overcome. But please, be careful to understand the physical aspect of the pain; do not injure your wife on your first night.

2.    The man psychological and emotional feelings. How is the man able to cope in the presence of fresh blood? Is the man irritated? Can he withstand it? The ability of each man to cope differs. It means therefore that the extent to which you enjoy the sexual intercourse depends on the level of the ability of the man to cope in such a situation.

3.    The blood stain. The two must be prepared for the blood stain all around their private parts and on the bed. This means that they should get a bedspread which does not retain stain or get a small cloth which they can put just at the bed area of the intercourse. The two should immediately clean up after sex.

Sexual intercourse during menstruation has more of emotional effect than physical, medical and spiritual effects. If the two can overcome whatever psychological / emotional feelings, they will definitely enjoy it.

Enjoy yourselves.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS OF YOUNG COUPLES. SERIES 3

SERIES 3

WISDOM FOR VIRGINS

Virginity is what the bible teaches for the unmarried. You are now matured and ready to disvirgined. You are in the right place with the right person.

Many good mothers create in their daughters’ fear of sexual intercourse. They do this with good intention. This was done to keep such daughter from pre – marital sex. Little did the parents know that their prescribed dose has its negative effect on these girls as they go into marriage. Such girls need an antidote from this implanted fear as they are preparing for their wedding.

The first step towards victory and enjoying your home and your sexual intercourse with your spouse is to cast away fear of pain and displeasure you have ignorantly psychologically associated with sex. Sex is a gift of God in marriage. It is time to enjoy this. Do not allow fear to spoil your day. The lord is honouring you, so why do you have to fear? Perfect love casts out fear. Now that you are in marriage bed, replace fear with perfect love for your spouse.

As you prepare for your marriage get some good books which you can read and be willing to ask questions from matured people around you. Be sure to implement your gathered information when you are married.

For virgin, sex can be painful at the beginning, therefore it is advisable that before sexual intercourse for the two of you to lubricate your organs and their surroundings. This means that as you pack your bibles and other devotional materials for your honey moon, you should get good lubricants preferably Vaseline or olive oil along with you. This lubrication should be a continuous process until the two are sure the pain is gone or manageable.